Thursday, October 4, 2007

Mother and Daughter(s)

Being a mother, is big. Being the mother of a daughter is bigger.

I mean... From the moment a little heart beats in our womb, we suffer from fatigue, nausea, etc. And this is the body only! Because emotion switches are present and our brain puts itself in warp speed: will I be a good mother, am I ready for this, is this the right time, and so on.

Changes, questions, emotions all over the place and that's what they call the happiness of expecting! Well, it's true... It's just that it comes with all those "difficulties» mentionned above. 9 months is a long time and that time is spent figuring out answers to those questions, it gives us the time to get used to the idea of thinking about someone else before us, it allows us to be in the "mommy" mode.

I had a first daughter in conditions that were not ideal. Well, no, they were ideal, but no father in the portrait: my family was present and supportive, my friends understood and were supportive, I was healthy (I gave a concert 2 days before delivering and I was still going dancing the last few days) and I was in a very good mood.
When the nurse gave me my baby after many hours of labor (but a rapid delivery), I couldn't see if the baby was a boy or a girl, even if it was obvious. I was in a weird state of mind, my brain couldn't process the information. That's when I became a mother, that I had a daughter.

Having a daughter is not a burden, it's not complicated, it's not a lot of problems (which is not the case in India where -I heard this on the radio this morning- some people get rid of female foetuses to avoid bankruptcy, because there you still have to pay a lot of money for your daughter to marry). Having a daughter, when you're a woman it's having the possibility to have a close relationship with someone who is going to go through the same steps, phases, stuff you've gone through in a different world, with different influences, with a little bit of you.

Ok, let me explain. When I was a child, I went through girls' stuff, phases in an "x" world. Because I lived with my daughter, I guided her, influenced her and she's going throught the same stuff, phases in a "y" world. She's using what I've given her in her life. And I chose to give her the best of what I myself received from my mother. I guess we're hoping to improve the education we give our daughters. Promote the best and avoid the worst.

However, girls go through the worst anyway. It might even be necessary: difficulties probably make use stronger, more equipped. We can still guide them, talk to them, prepare them for the "worst".

Without promoting anything here, there's a company that sells beauty (the message is interesting, but we're talking money, right?) in a healthier, more appropriate way...

1 comment:

Ani said...

wow, wow, wow. i didn't have the sound on when i watched this video (at work) but what an important message. i had many self esteem and weight issues that made my life awful for about 10 years. i hope we can wisely guide our girls so they don't have to suffer these troubles!

what a lovely photo!